If you’re a fan of Severance, you’ll get the title. Your innie clocks in and does the job. Your outie lives the rest of your life, and the two never really know each other.
Sometimes I feel like my own version of that. I’ve spent so long optimising for the innie - work, productivity, performance. Only now starting to wonder: who is the outie? What does he enjoy, beyond the job, beyond the career?
Disclaimer: mild introspection ahead. No fun, no learnings - just some Sunday ramblings.
For most Indian millennials, work is the default
Like many others from a middle-class background, I grew up without a strong culture of hobbies or personal exploration. Focus on acing exams, pick a decent job, and everything else could come later - after you “settle down”.
Here’s a simple prompt: Can you introduce yourself without mentioning your work? I never thought about it for the longest time. Most of the time, I would be like: “Hi, I am Kaushik from Bangalore, working at XYZ.” As if I were just a LinkedIn bio with a face.
Passion was always secondary. Most days it was just me and my work. And if I had a weekend off, I would spend it figuring out how to be more productive - upskill, read more, make the most of whatever opportunity I had. I never cared much about titles or big hikes. But I always wanted to do meaningful work and do it well. If I had that, I felt I could keep going for years without complaining.
In recent years, my relationship with time shifted a bit, thanks to my wife. She loves travelling and she made sure I tagged along. I’ve come to enjoy it too - new places, people and culture, the outdoors, the sense of adventure, the break from routine. Both of us have fairly intense jobs, so we don’t get to travel as much as we would like. Travel is a great way to pause, reconnect with each other and the world. Not something we can do every day, but something that reminds me there’s more to life than Slack and Google Docs.
What if I achieved FIRE today?
I used to be surrounded by this small group at work who would almost every day talk about achieving financial independence (or “f**k you” money, as the FIRE guys love to call it). Every now and then I ask myself, and my friends - what would you do if you no longer had to work for money?
Most people I know are content chasing their next real estate investment - not really my cup of tea. I often read on HN about how tech folks in the West spend their weekends on DIY hobbies - woodworking, fixing up cabins, or going camping. It sounds tempting - grounded, slow, intentional. But I genuinely can’t imagine doing that here. In Bangalore, just stepping out of the city takes the entire weekend.
So I am trying a new lens
Not looking for one big passion or life plan. Just trying to pay closer attention.
I stumbled across a post on Substack (thank you, Internet) that sparked this line of thinking. It gave me a simple but powerful way to reflect - without over-optimising or chasing clarity too soon. These are my own notes based on that.
1. What gives me energy (and what drains it)
Instead of “what’s my passion?”, I’ll try to notice what feels exciting and what feels like a chore.
I plan to keep a low-stakes log for a couple of weeks. Nothing fancy, just quick notes on:
- What kinds of work make time fly
- What conversations leave me feeling recharged
- What I reach for when I’m not overthinking
I also want to make a running list of things that drain me - tasks, environments, even people. The stuff that leaves me dull or distracted. Over time, this list should show me what I need to protect, and what I can slowly let go of.
2. Follow my curiosity. Watch the rituals.
Instead of hunting for a purpose, I want to keep trying things that spark curiosity and protect the rituals I enjoy.
Some of the things I’ve picked up:
- Coffee brewing: The daily ritual of brewing beans and making a pour-over. I’m hoping there’s more here.
- Learning Japanese: Anime and TV got me hooked enough to enrol in a proper course. But I still deprioritise it when work gets busy. I want to make this a non-negotiable.
- Graphic Novels: Something very new. Want to be consistent, so trying something easy on the eye.
And then there are the things that are part of my core identity but seem to be losing their spark:
- What do I actually enjoy about tech and startups? Maybe it’s the constraints and puzzle-solving.
- I say I love football, but I barely make time to watch a full match or play FIFA. Why is that?
- I enjoy the outdoors - trekking, cycling, or even a walk around the park. Why don’t I make more time for it?
3. Try a solo staycation and watch what happens
Haven’t done this yet, but I want to. A quiet 24–48 hours alone. No obligations. Just time to wander, read, think, walk around. Stay somewhere that feels unfamiliar but not overwhelming. The idea isn’t to figure anything out - just to see what I gravitate toward when no one’s watching. Where my attention goes. What I reach for. Maybe that’ll say something I haven’t been able to articulate yet.
I am starting today
If you’re in the same boat - not stuck, not lost, just trying to see more clearly then maybe this helps. I’ll probably come back to this in a month and see if the blanks have started filling in.
My innie is great. He genuinely enjoys solving problems and has the drive and rigour to strive for excellence at work. But my outie needs to have a great personality too.
(Yes, I know, this is a very forced Severance callback. But I’ve committed to the bit, so here we are.)